Supplication for the newly wed :
“Baarakallahu lakum, wa baaraka alaykum, wa jama’a baynakumaa fii khair.”
May Allah bless for you your spouse, and bless you, and may He unite both of you in goodness
Marriage is the coming together of man and woman whose values, principles and morals are similar enough to live in harmony through understanding and mutual respect. As you will not agree with every matter with your spouse, adaptability and compromise actions are always needed.
In Islam, the marriage process consists of few important steps :
1. Mahr (marriage gift)
It is required for the groom to give a marriage gift to his bride to be, which is discussed prior to the signing of the marriage contract. Quran mentioned this in Surah An Nisa :
وَءَاتُواْ ٱلنِّسَآءَ صَدُقَٰتِهِنَّ نِحۡلَةٗۚ فَإِن طِبۡنَ لَكُمۡ عَن شَيۡءٖ مِّنۡهُ نَفۡسٗا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيٓٔٗا مَّرِيٓٔٗا
“And give the women (upon marriage) their (bridal) gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.”
[Qur’an, Surah An-Nisa : The Women, 4:4]
It is important to note that the Mahr is only for the bride, not for the family. Despite of situation we see today that the Mahr going to the father of the bride or her family, this practice is incorrect.
2. Aqd Al Nikah (the marriage contract)
Prior to the signing of the marriage contract, a woman must seek the permission from her ‘Wali’ (guardian), otherwise it is considered to be void. The Aqd Al-Nikah consists of the recital of the ‘Sigha’ (formula) which contains the ‘Ijab’ (agreement) of the bride and the ‘Qabul’ (acceptance) of bridegroom. The person who officiates the Aqd must be a practising Muslim, most often seen could be an Imam or a Muslim judge.
Before the sigha is performed, a sermon is presented according to the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
The sermon begins with the praise of Allah; His Help and Guidance is sought. Followed by the faith declaration in Arabic :
“There is none worthy of worship except Allah and Muhammad is His servant and messenger.”
Then three verses in the Quran are recited in Arabic :
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفۡسٖ وَٰحِدَةٖ وَخَلَقَ مِنۡهَا زَوۡجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنۡهُمَا رِجَالٗا كَثِيرٗا وَنِسَآءٗۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ ٱلَّذِي تَسَآءَلُونَ بِهِۦ وَٱلۡأَرۡحَامَۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ رَقِيبٗا
O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer.
[Quran, Surah An Nisaa : The Women, 1]
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِۦ وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنتُم مُّسۡلِمُونَ
O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared and do not die except as Muslims [in submission to Him].
[Quran, Surah Ali-Imran : Family of Imran, 102]
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَقُولُواْ قَوۡلٗا سَدِيدٗا
يُصۡلِحۡ لَكُمۡ أَعۡمَٰلَكُمۡ وَيَغۡفِرۡ لَكُمۡ ذُنُوبَكُمۡۗ وَمَن يُطِعِ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُۥ فَقَدۡ فَازَ فَوۡزًا عَظِيمًا
He will [then] amend for you your deeds and forgive you your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly attained a great attainment. O you who have believed, fear Allah and speak words of appropriate justice.
[Quran Surah Al Ahzab : The Combined Force, 71-72]
It is permissible for the Aqd to be recited by the bride and groom on the day, or they can nominate someone else to represent them, who is known as the ‘Wakil’ (representative). The recitation of the formula of Aqd is as follows :
The bride, or her representative says :
I (as a representative of the bride) have married myself (mention the bride’s full name) to you for the dower that was agreed, based on sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad.
The bridegroom answers :
I accept the marriage.
When Prophet Muhammad married Khadija (may Allah pleased with her), Abu Talib, the Prophet’s uncle, read the nikah himself. Khadija’s father was dead, so her uncle, Amr ibn Asad, was there instead as was her learned cousin, Waraqah ibn Nawfal. The Prophet’s foster mother, Halima Sadia, was there too.
3. Walimah (marriage banquette)
Once Aqd Al-Nikah has completed, it is encouraged in Islam to declare the marriage by having a feast, party or commonly known as Walimah. It is recommended that Muslims attend these celebrations upon invitation. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, ‘… and he who refuses to accept an invitation to a marriage feast, verily disobeys Allah and His Prophet.” [Ahmad & Abu Dawud].
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